Indigestion! Indigestion!

I've got some dumb song stuck in my head and I'm not even sure what song it is! I have the worst indigestion - it seems like just about anything can give me indigestion lately. And the song that is stuck in my head is a made up one!

You know the guys that did the 'Conjunction, Junction - What's Your Function?' song... It's that educational cartoon that used to come on Saturday mornings between our 'real' cartoons. And one of those songs is repeating endlessly in my head with its words changed to .... you guessed it!

"In - di - ges - tion! In- di - ges - tion!"

So silly!

Mean old blood-drawin' lady!!

Let me tell you what my captions say, as I'm just getting the hang of my JengoFett! Ok, it's not really called that - but, that's just how I remember it! It's really called Jing - you can find it at JingProject.com. It's really pretty cool, I'm just not that great with it yet. Anyhoo - counter-clockwise from the top.....(1) Those are birthmarks! Not ouchy! (2) Ouchy #1. Regular blood-draw bruising. Site of needle prick. :( (3) Even made the crook of my arm red. Wah! (4) Ouchy #2. Site of pure evil. In 22 years of psych. treatment, never had one of these. WTH is it, anyway? A blood blister? A blood somethin?

Ok, and then I just had to include an 'un-touched' photo for pure documentation purposes. Either that, or I'm just a weirdo.

Yes, it is true. I am a wimp. And I'm also a nerd who likes to show off her 'injuries'! HA!

Anyhoo - had some blood drawn today to test the level of Tegretol in my system and to make sure it's not completely killing my liver - yet.

And I was horribly injured! Horribly! It was awful!!

Ok, I might just be exaggerating....just a tad. But, I did find it interesting that I got some type of blood blister thingy this time. That's never happened before. And even the crook of my arm was reddened.

I think my body just would like to keep all of it's blood. Thank you very much.

Give me light or just forget it!

It is so true - when I get depressed, a dark and dreary room just makes it worse! When we have day after day of cloudiness, I start to get a little crazy - especially in my kitchen! It is so dim, and I just cannot brighten it up in there! I keep thinking that there is some light that I haven't turned on because it is so gloomy in there, and I look around for one more light to turn on - that 'magic, let's all feel better now', light! And it's just not there. I think whoever bought the main light fixture for the kitchen just picked the wrong kind for the way that room is set up. I would love to buy something else for in there, like maybe a pretty lamp. I actually thought we had the problem solved the other day, because I accidentally knocked a piece off of the cooktop. And it was the piece that covered up the fluorescent light on the cooktop. When I turned on that light without the cover on, it so brightly illuminated the room - almost exactly like I've been wanting! It was just too glaring without the cover on. And I was sure that the light hadn't been working, and that somehow, by knocking the top of it off, I had made it work. And that if Mark could just get the piece that fell behind the stove, and put it back on, all would be well.

But, yet again, I'm so silly. The cover was metal, not the opaque covers you generally find on fluorescent lights. And when we put it back on, it did work. The only thing is, I remembered that it had been working all along. But, with that darn metal cover on it, it only illuminated the cooktop. That was a bummer!

The really tricky part of all of this is that I need light to curb my depression, but, with all of these migraines, I need darkness. Now that is quite a pickle to be in!

Allergy attack!

This has turned out to be quite a rotten day. I woke up with an allergy attack, as I do almost every day. This morning, however, it would not go away! It was awful. Mark had bought me some medicine that my brother recommended, that wouldn't make me drowsy. It didn't help me, though. So all I have to rely on is benadryl, which of course, makes me very drowsy. The morning attacks usually go away a little while after I've gotten up, but, this morning that did not happen! I wound up having to take benadryl and so now I'm Miss Zombie Queen. I had to even go lie down for an hour. I can't get a whole lot of blogging done lying down in bed!

I have no idea if this is just coincidental or not, but, I took my shower this morning. And I am just wondering if that made the attack worse. I can't quite explain how I think it might work, but, I am relating it to Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I have done a lot of research on SID, and have family members, including myself, who have it. But with SID, when you get out of the shower, it is like you are raw - raw and vulnerable. Nerve-ending-wise. So if one is in a more vulnerable state, one could react to what one is allergic to in a stronger way. Do you see what I'm saying? Anyway, I'm not sure if it really could be that way, but, I'm thinking it might.

I really want to get some type of prescription for my allergies, because, on days like today, my entire schedule gets flip-flopped around because of the dumb attacks! I think there are prescription meds, that would not make me drowsy and work better than that other one that I tried! It is hard, though, to make the decision to actually go to the doctor, because we don't have insurance. Life sucks without insurance, and we really need to get some! It is just so damn expensive! And then you still have to pay $40 for a visit - at least, that is what we had to on our last insurance. We do need to get some more, though, if nothing else at least children insurance so that we are safeguarded against any major medical issues. I would love to get all five of us on a plan, but, I just don't know if we can afford it.

My teenage skin

"What? Teenage skin? Lisa, you're 37 years old, what are you talking about?"

Well, my face seems to think that 'we' are teenagers again, in that I break out so easily. Now, I will admit to not being the most regimented about washing my face like I should, but, my skin is usually okay. Lately, I break out in these tiny bumps on my forehead and full-out pimples on my chin if I am not good about washing my face. And it still just seems to not look as healthy as it used to.

So I've been thinking lately that I should try real skincare products, as opposed to just bar soap. (Yes, bar soap. But - to my credit, it is Lever 2000.) And I've also been thinking a lot about sun protection for my face. My mother has already dealt with two spots on her face - one was cancerous, and the other was just pre-cancerous, I think. I've never worn product on my face, not even base, so I have had a hard time finding something that feels good and doesn't irritate my skin.I was looking at the Emerge Skin Care site, and I found a facial moisturizer with SPF 30 that is formulated specifically for sensitive skin. I would love to try that! Their products were developed by a team of dermatologists and chemists, and their tagline is 'Where Science Meets Beauty'. I like the sound of that, because, it makes me feel extra safe about using their products. That might sound silly, but, like I said, I've never worn any product on my face. I've never worn moisturizer or base or even normal sunblock (which always burns). So I am extra picky, I think, about picking out a sun protection formula.

And I would also like to venture away from my bar soap routine and try some actual facial cleanser, for this silly face that is revisiting my youth! Emerge has a sensitive skin formula that has chamomile in it - that sounds great!

I really need to start taking better care of this old face! Emerge would be a great place to start!

Honorary badge and getting focused!

Today I get one of these:It's an honorary badge - just like colleges give out honorary degrees - I'm giving myself an honorary 'List Complete' badge! See, I haven't actually completed the list in quite some time, however, I did some SERIOUS exercising last weekend! We went to Canyon River Falls and went hiking around and had a great time. And one of our hikes almost killed me! So I'd say that qualifies me for a badge!

I am, however, concentrating on getting back on track since we've been back from Texas. I seem to always miss a thing or two, but, I'm working on it every day. I have a lot of friends online focusing on getting healthy and that is inspiring me and helping me out!

I am so grateful that so many of my friends are on the same wavelength, because it helps so much. There are so many days when I just completely pretend I have nothing to work on and completely ignore my health. With all my friends talking about it all the time, though, it is hard to BS myself!

Natural stomach ache!

I am on a vacation, sort of - we went 'home' to Texas to visit family and for Mark to do some work. And I am also doing some work - blogging and searching, while we are here. I have not even attempted my 'daily list' - and I am not really being very healthy. Not horrible, but, not healthy, either.

And for more than half of the time that we've been here, I've had horrible stomach cramping and aches! It is driving me durn crazy!!

I guess the good news would be that the tummy troubles are keeping me off of caffeine. So that's a step in the right direction, even if one is forced to go that way! Heh.

Armpits and stuff

I took the last antibiotic yesterday - I was taking them for tonsillitis, which is gone, and supposed folliculitis, which remains unchanged. The doctors say that I have folliculitis in my armpits and that is why I have large lumps there. I have been on two different antibiotics for it now, and I have changed deodorants, changed soaps, started using a loofah, and now, according to the second doctor's advise, have temporarily stopped shaving my armpits. I just went to see the second doctor a little over a week ago, and he told me to stop shaving for a couple of weeks. So there is still some more time that maybe they could get better, I suppose.

I just feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing. And maybe more of it is my hypochondria than anything, but, I do have a bad feeling about it. Could I be dreaming up problems in my head? Sure. But there just hasn't been any change, so that is making me nervous.

I think, more than anything, is my lack of access to medical care. We don't have insurance, and we don't qualify for Medicaid, and it scares me to think that I am putting care off because I can't afford it, and then find out that early intervention would have helped me. You know?

But I have gone to two doctors now, so I have set the ball rolling. So maybe I just need to chill out a little bit.

*sigh*

Tonsillitis and folliculitis

Those are my two diagnoses from my doctor yesterday. That is a lot of 'itis'! And then, I figure, if I didn't take my antibiotic - I might wind up with laryngitis! And just how many itis's can we have?

Craziness aside, I awoke Tuesday morning with a 102 fever and my throat so sore I wanted my mommy! It was AWFUL!! Funny thing, too - because, we had just decided that this week would be a good week financially for me to go ahead and get back to the doctor for my armpit lumps that haven't seemed to go anywhere since the last doctor visit I had. Mark comes home Monday with all the debit cards I had given him to pay some bills, and tells me that one of them still has $80 on it and that I could go ahead and go to the doctor. On Monday night! Then I wake up Tuesday morning badly needing a doctor! Go figure!

I was way too sick on Tuesday, though, to even get in the car and go, so I waited until Wednesday.

And he feels that the lumps in my armpits are folliculitis, just as the other doctor had said, but, some of his ideas about dealing with it are different. Like - he wants me to stop shaving for a couple weeks (ewww!) and the other guy said to keep shaving, that it would help. And they differed on a few other things, as well.

He gave me antibiotics for both things, and hopefully I can finally have concave armpits again! And quit worrying! I mean, if it weren't for my kids, I'd be fine with dying. Everyone else has had lots of time with me, and I'll see them on the other side, anyway. I just don't want to miss out on all my kids' life experiences, you know?

Ok, ok, I do love some of you to pieces, it's true - and I don't really want to leave you - it's just, life is...well, hard. And well......tiring. And a long rest (like ETERNITY!) sounds kinda nice sometimes! LOL!!

Ok, we took a little side road trip there, people - let's get back on track, here, ok? I'm feeling a bit rotten still, still not quite on top of my game (like my Healthy Habits list!) but, I'm on antibiotics and on the mend. I have the opinion of a second doctor who agrees with the first in regards to my convex arm(not)pits and hopefully things are progressing positively in that regard, as well. Or would that be negatively? You know, like - less armpits? (Man, I hate jokes that you have to explain! Then they lose their punch. But sometimes, ok, most of the time - my mind is racing ahead without me - in several directions at once, and it goes on some quirky little sidestreets. And I obssessively follow it.)

Armpit troubles

I have been dealing with lumps in my armpits and they have made me very nervous and worried. I think it would be odd to just happen to have cancer in both armpits at the same time, though. The first time I got them was during my last pregnancy, and the doctor told me at that point not to worry about them, as they were just swollen lymph nodes.

They went away, eventually, after the baby was born, and then they came back again last year, almost ten years later. I finally went to the doctor about them, and he seemed to think it had something to do with clogged hair follicles, or something like that. He gave me an antibiotic, and special washing and deodorant instructions. I've just been reading about the Tend Skin deodorant, and I wonder if that would be good for my situation. The product was originally formulated as a pain reliever, but, was accidentally discovered to be extremely helpful for ingrown hairs. Sounds to me like some 'un-blocking' is going on there, right? Could be just what I need.