Ok, so I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box....

You know that ouchy arm of mine? Ok, yeah - so well, my arm has been hurting up by my shoulder, so after I got out of the shower....I put some Freeze It on it. And it helped, but, now my elbow is hurting. But, that's neither here nor there...

Back to that dull crayon business...I was in the kitchen doing dishes, and I got hot in the corner there with all that hot water running. So I was sweating a bit.

Here's where I get dumb. I take off my glasses to oh-so-daintily wipe the sweat from each side of the brow with each shoulder....in my most feminine way, of course.

However, if you will step back a line or two ....to where I said I put Freeze It on my shoulder?

Yeah - I rubbed it all across my eye! Smooth!

I felt my face getting tingly warm, and I thought, 'What the heck?'

Yeah, so - I wiped my eye again - with a clean section of my shirt. A non-Freeze It'd section, that is.

My vision was blurry for about half an hour, but, I think we're okay now. Yeah.

Just remember, folks - Freeze It + eyeballs - not the best combination! Like I needed to tell you that! It's only us Lucy Ricardo-types that need that information actually shared with us!

Oh yeah - and that ouchy arm? It looks worse today - you know how bruises go through their loverly array of colors....

I'll try to snap a pic if the camera will cooperate - it keeps eating the batteries!

Mean old blood-drawin' lady!!

Let me tell you what my captions say, as I'm just getting the hang of my JengoFett! Ok, it's not really called that - but, that's just how I remember it! It's really called Jing - you can find it at JingProject.com. It's really pretty cool, I'm just not that great with it yet. Anyhoo - counter-clockwise from the top.....(1) Those are birthmarks! Not ouchy! (2) Ouchy #1. Regular blood-draw bruising. Site of needle prick. :( (3) Even made the crook of my arm red. Wah! (4) Ouchy #2. Site of pure evil. In 22 years of psych. treatment, never had one of these. WTH is it, anyway? A blood blister? A blood somethin?

Ok, and then I just had to include an 'un-touched' photo for pure documentation purposes. Either that, or I'm just a weirdo.

Yes, it is true. I am a wimp. And I'm also a nerd who likes to show off her 'injuries'! HA!

Anyhoo - had some blood drawn today to test the level of Tegretol in my system and to make sure it's not completely killing my liver - yet.

And I was horribly injured! Horribly! It was awful!!

Ok, I might just be exaggerating....just a tad. But, I did find it interesting that I got some type of blood blister thingy this time. That's never happened before. And even the crook of my arm was reddened.

I think my body just would like to keep all of it's blood. Thank you very much.

Pregnant mare up there?

I was just looking closer at the sweet horses in my header, and I'm thinking the one on the right is a precious and pregnant mare! Anyone else agree with that? :)

Grandmamom's old red traincase

I have my grandmother's old red traincase on my dresser and I just love it and love having it there, out in the open like that! I miss the old luggage sets, the way they looked when I was a kid and when my grandmother was a young woman. But also, having it in here, in plain view, makes me feel like I have a piece of my grandmother in my room with me. And that just fills my spirit with warmth.

I also think of the days when my grandmother and her sisters and brother would ride the train to go somewhere. Traveling was a big deal then, a big affair. Everyone would get dressed up and it was a real treat. The journey itself was actually part of the trip.

I know the one time that I took the train, I absolutely loved it! I cannot wait until I can take my own kids for a train ride. Even if we only go a short way like I did (from Dallas to Austin) we will have so much fun!

I know we have a lot of totally cool modern conveniences in this day and time (the internet! could NOT live without it!) but, there are just some things about the past that seem so special and so magical. And I see a little bit of that 'magic' in my mind's eye every time I glance over at my dresser!

Too many clothes!

I have absolutely got to get my clothing nightmare cleaned out! I have way too many clothes, and they are just not getting put away. But I have noticed recently that the few clothes that I do wear are the only ones that really get ‘touched’ by me. And I had a light bulb moment that I should totally get rid of some.

I have been hanging onto way too many clothes. I had some lovely, sweet people give me hand-me-downs, around the same time. And it just overwhelmed me, because, there were so many clothes all at once. So I need to just buckle down and get to going through them.

The other issue is that I am hanging onto clothes that just don’t fit me anymore. I keep thinking that ‘overweight’ is a temporary condition (which I really do hope and pray it is) but, it’s been six years now. And hanging onto some of those clothes is just plain silly.

I’m going to use the tactic I learned from either FlyLady or Marilu Henner – I can’t remember which one of them it was, they both just totally rock, in my book! Anyway, the tactic is you have to either totally love the item – or wear it frequently – or it’s gone! Some of the items I know that I will keep are my wedding dress, my high school dance dresses (there are only four of them) and stuff like that. But other stuff, that I don’t completely love, and I’m just thinking, ‘I may be able to wear that as soon as I lose weight…’ – forget it! It’s gone! It’s going to be hard, but, I am really working hard to simplify my life and make things easier and more manageable, and this is one thing that has definitely gotten out of control!

One thing that I am afraid of is not having very many clothes left when I am done. This really would be a good thing, though, as it would simplify things so much, and as I do lose weight, I can go and buy new and pretty things. (My clothes really are pretty scrappy, anyway.) I could just buy one thing here and there, and eventually wind up with a nice wardrobe. It would be so cool if I had a friend with a plus-size store, so I could get wholesale clothing prices. Then I could really build up my wardrobe nicely. But then, of course, maybe I’d wind up in the same pickle I’m in now – too many clothes! LOL!

Halloween cuteness

Sammie really wanted to embrace nature this Halloween and be a tiger. She is completely obsessed with tigers right now. I'm not sure how she got off course of that, but, now she is going to be a vampire lady. Her costume is really pretty, but, I think kids in animal masks are just so cute. Of course, I imagine that had she gone ahead with that costume, we wouldn't have used a mask. The one time that I was a cat, I wore a headband with ears attached to it and painted my face to look like a cat. And that is more along the lines of what Sammie had been talking about. And I bet she would've made the cutest tiger ever! Well, maybe we'll have to try that out next year. This year - vampire queen it is!

Cooling pads for my migraines

The other day, I think it was Tuesday, I started getting a migraine. This was not surprising at all, as I get them pretty frequently. My migraines can be a nuisance to the whole family - plans get canceled, children have to play quietly, friends can't come over (or have to go home) and all of the lighting in the house gets turned down. They all get so sick of mom going around turning all of the lights off!

But then I remembered what my mom had put in my Christmas stocking! Cooling pads to go on my head when my head starts hurting! Awesome!

These things feel so good, but, they only really help if I use them early on in the headache. I didn't get it on quite early enough that day, but, I did get it on soon enough to offer some relief.

Anyway, being the geeky blogger that I am, I thought I should photo-document the occasion. But then I discovered that my camera was out of batteries. So I went into my daughter's room and swiped hers. It's just a cheapy little thing, but, it does the job. So the pics aren't the best quality, but, that's ok. You get to see what the pads look like and how adorable I look with one on.

You can see how red my face gets with the migraines, too, though. *sigh*

Anyway, I'm a dork and here's my migraine-y pics:

I ordered 'You On a Diet' and it got here!

Do you remember the other day - my telling you about how badly that I wanted the book, You On a Diet? Well, I gave in and ordered it for myself! And it came in the mail yesterday! I am so excited! I really want to go lock myself up in my bedroom for a few days and just read, read, read it! But, we all know that is nothing more than a silly pipe dream. I just really love the way Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen explain things - all the time when I hear them talking, light bulbs are going off. "Oh! I get it!" "Now I see!" They just make everything make sense. I really just cannot wait to dig in!

I'm needing to update my look

I was thinking last night and today that I might trim my hair and color it again. And then I came across the coolest new online tool to help me decide what I want to do to make myself over. It's called MakeoverSolutions.com and it was SO MUCH FUN!!! I could do that just about every day! What a fun way to try out new looks!

I had a little trouble, because, my hair wasn't pulled out of the way completely - so I had to pick a hairstyle that had hair on my face. Ok, here, let me show you what I mean:
See how I left hair on my forehead on the right side, and how you can see the length of my hair - so that limited my choices of what I could pick. But it mostly limited me to choices I would have picked anyway.

Don't I look cute!!! I have wanted to do purple highlights for a long time! And now I've finally gotten to see what it would look like. I've done pink highlights plenty of times, in fact that is what I have in my bathroom right now that I was considering doing tonight. But I haven't done purple ones yet, and I think they would look so pretty!

It was so much fun putting on the makeup and so amazing that it landed in the right spots, with so many obstacles in the way. The biggest of those I think would be the way that my left eyelid sags, but, the makeup still looks pretty good! That was just so much fun! (Did I already say that?)

This software was so detailed, down to shape of your lips! It was so cool, and there were so many things to add and do. I mean, just for lips, there was lipliner, lipstick, and lipgloss! I only used lipgloss, because, that is all I do in real life. And there was celebrity hair and just plain hairstyles. And then, of course, all of the color and highlights and lowlights. Oh, and you can make the hair wider and higher, if need be.

The details are just awesome - this was just a ton of fun!

You On a Diet

I'm sure pretty much everyone has heard of this book - it was written by Mehmet C. Oz and Michael F. Roizen. I've been wanting it for a while now. I saw them on Oprah and I was immediately taken with them. I don't know if I saw them before or after buying their other book, You: The Owner's Manual. I love that one, too, although I haven't finished it. There is a lot to take in there!

But I would really love to dive into You: On a Diet, as that is one of the primary focuses of my life right now - getting healthy by losing this weight! I know I don't need their book to lose weight, or to start losing weight, but, knowing more about what exactly you're doing to your body with the foods you ingest and the activity/non-activity you involve yourself in, has got to be helpful. And they have an online community that corresponds with this book, and it looks like it might even be free - I'm going to check it out and I'll let you know!

And I just love the way they talk/write. Just listening to them is inspiring to me. So if anyone is in need of some christmas gift ideas - that book would be a good place to start!

Lunch with Sammie is a good workout

Yes, it's true - going to lunch with my sweet daughter is a good workout. I no longer have access to a car in the daytime, so I ask my sweet friend, Belinda, to take me up to the school at Sammie's lunchtime. And then I walk home. I don't want Belinda to have to wait on me or sit through that raucous lunch with us. And I don't want to ask her to come back in thirty minutes. And I desperately need to get my butt moving, anyway. So I walk home.

It is only a mile. But a long and hard mile it can be, that's for sure. Well, this last time wasn't so bad. I took another route, on which I think the incline was easier - we live at the top of a hill. And also - the last time I took that walk - the temperatures were in the 100's!! So it definitely helped for it not to be so swelteringly hot. But I still definitely got a good workout from it. And it was a nice, peaceful time to just mentally relax.

So I'm definitely going to have to continue doing that. Sammie gets to see me at school, I get to be a little more involved at school, and I get a workout out of it! You see, because, ever since I started my home based business, I just don't get as much time at school. So it's a win-win-win!

Swarming ticks

The other day we went to Mark's cousin's house for dinner. They live out in the woods, right up to a lake. It really is beautiful out there! But, it is very woodsy! And they have two outdoor, free-roaming dogs. The dogs are very sweet, and very loving to humans - but, they are definitely outdoor dogs.

We had some really good food for dinner - too good, in fact. It was so good that I ate way too much and I was feeling really super stuffed! So Sammie and I went outside to go for a walk. Now I know that Mark and the kids have gotten really bad chigger bites out there and he has told them to stay out of the woods when they are there.

But as we are a very 'off-trail' family, I thought that he meant to stay out of woods in that way, like no going off the trail. See, there is a dirt road out in the back of the house that goes through the woods a little bit. So Sammie and I went walking on that road a little bit.

We came in after a little while and everyone decided to watch a movie. As we were sitting there, Sammie and I were getting so itchy. And then I kept feeling things crawling on me, so I would look and see this little, tiny black bug and pick it off. It kept happening again and again. I thought, "Gosh, their dogs really were covered in a lot of fleas!"

But then when we got home, I noticed that I still had a few more, and they were not fleas! They were ticks! OH MY GAWD! I have never had more than one tick on me at once, much less, a whole swarm of the little buggers and I'd never seen ticks so small! I immediately stripped down and checked every inch of me. And the thing that freaked me OUT was that they were so tiny! I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to find them all, especially in my dark hair. It was nuts, absolutely nuts!

(That's a tick compared to the head of a match.)

And with so many people getting Lyme disease lately, it just really freaked me out! I had one on my ankle so small that I almost couldn't get him off - I had to get tweazers. I put all my clothes in a trash bag to sit outside for a few days, and then I jumped in the shower. Because I was so afraid that I would miss some in my hair - I washed, rather - soaked, my hair in Dr. Bronner's soap. That stuff does a horrible job on my hair, but, it is so potent, I figured it would help. I didn't have any tea tree oil on hand, so I figured it was the next best thing. Then after that I soaked my head in Neutrogena T-Gel. That stuff is pretty potent, too. I was quite hopeful that between those two, no remaining survivors would be left. They would definitely deserve little, tiny tick trophies if they survived those fumes!

But I haven't seen any since. Whew!

[Pictures courtesy of Wikipedia.]

I really have no idea how fat I am.

Honestly - no idea. I live in a silly, unrealistic, sheltered world inside my own head.

Sadly, it's the same silly, unrealistic, sheltered world I lived in when I weighted 120 pounds.

I thought I was "Miss Obesity" - seriously, I did. My friends were all so skinny and cute, so I thought, and I was this big cow.

I'm telling you - if Michael J. Fox stops by with that cool, time-traveling car - I will seriously go back to, say, around 1988 ...or 1989 ...or anywhere near that time - and KICK MY OWN ASS!!!!

But anyway, getting back to today, I look down...and I see a cute pair of jeans, and cute white shoes....and I 'see' an adorable, 125 lb. girl. Seriously. I know I'm saying 'seriously' a lot here, but, I really am serious. It's just so unbelievable how powerful the human mind is.

There are moments ...quick, fleeting (thank God!) moments ...when the reality of it hits me. And in those moments, the panic attack is so severe, it feels like I'll suffocate to death.

Now - this is quite the predicament, really, because, I suppose it would be good to stay in reality about the situation, so that I would stay aware and know to rectify it. Because oftentimes, my 'lala land' lets me eat and 'not move' as much as I want. A lot of times I'm not feeling well - like yesterday's whopper of a migraine (whoa!) and so I will take certain freedoms. But a lot of the time, it is just this warped reality that my head is in that is allowing me to act like I'm 19 and can eat as many bags of darn popcorn and drink as many darn Sprite's as I want to. But, on the other hand, if I did stay aware - how could I live in that horrible state of panic?! Would it go away after a while? Who knows...

If only there was some kind of collaboration software to bring the reality of the 'knowing' and the safety of the 'not knowing' together peacefully and productively, that would be awesome!

It's funny how simplistically people who have never been heavy look at all of this. "Just eat less and exercise." And it is actually that simple, it's just not easy. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

And that is really the part that they don't get. Simple, but, not easy. Hell - if it were easy, why would I be sitting here looking like this, typing this post? What - because I enjoy being fat?

Hardly.

Damn head.