I had originally titled this, 'The clothing dilemma of a fat chick' - but, decided that was too negative. I am at an odd place with my weight issue, one of absolute honesty and bluntness. I have been there for a while now, and I am finding it quite interesting. It is basically like this - you know how when you're fat, you like a shirt that is a lot bigger than you, around and long, so that you can 'hide' underneath it. Well, recently, in my newfound bluntness, I am not caring if my shirt actually fits, you know, like it should. See - this is a twisted web we weave. Normally, I 'hide' under my clothes because I'm not willing to 'say' to you, "I'm fat." Funny thing, you knew I was fat. But in my not 'saying' it to you, I was hidden and safe. It's just about getting honest with myself, really, like being able to 'say' to you (in clothing or in words), "Hey, I'm fat." So that is why the original title came to mind, but, I am now swinging to the other end of the pendulum, as we all so often do when we are growing and changing. And I am wanting to be careful to be honest, but, not to be negative. So, anyway, that's that and that's why the title changed. Funny, this explanation will probably wind up being longer than the original topic I wanted to talk about!
So, anyway, on to that original topic, shall we? The dilemma we face as larger people is that we want lots of clothes to cover us up. Hide all of our insecurities and make us feel safe from the world outside. I don't, however, often feel motivated to 'get moving' in such clothing. Jeans, for instance, although they nicely 'hold me together' - they also 'hold me together', thereby prohibiting a lot of free-flowing movement.
I have bought myself several tank tops this summer and I've had some athletic shorts. And I've tried to make a habit of wearing them. And the really cool thing is, I don't feel too awful in them. Let me tell you what I do feel, though. I do feel LIKE MOVING! And moving is a VERY GOOD THING! Even if I don't actually 'exercise' on the day I'm wearing them, I dance around and stretch all throughout the day, because, it just feels so good to be wearing these clothes! I will take the stairs more - sometimes go up and down them twice just for the heck of it! I do have two staircases at my house, so there is lots of opportunity for that!
I actually wore jeans today, but, I've been meaning to post about this for a couple of days now. And I'm excited all over again about the 'freedom of movement' and 'freedom from fear' that I've found in wearing tank tops and shorts so I think I will definitely have to wear them tomorrow. I know, to some people, this might not sound like a very big deal. And then I know there are some people reading this and nodding with total understanding!